All stuff here © Evan Johnson.

Death is not mine enemy,
   Nor is he my friend.
He is but my companion
   In this vale of tears.

You see only the calm above
Not the turmoil contained within
Listen close, heed the screams
Of the monster contained
Barely kept under control
Suppressed 'neath a thin veneer
Rails against the prison bars
Wailing for release
At times the line is razor thin
The margin that is my sanity
All hours must I keep my vigil
Ready to shore the walls
Lest the barrier I have fashioned
Be sundered, unleashing my id

Unable to say what needs be said
Difficult to do what needs be done
Unable to reap the harvest of love
Because i fear to sow the seeds
To bare my soul to scrutiny
T'is not oft' the muse descends
Enables me to do the necessary deed
To utter the blessed words that
Transport my soul to the Isle of View
Safe in the arms of mine Venus

To control the future,
   first indoctrinate the young.

Fate is fate; life is but an illusion.

i have no face
i have no name
just another number
in this sea of humanity

the other lost souls
tear at me, trying
to pull me down to them
rend me asunder
undermine my ego

i fight back with
a failing strength
for they are to numerous
and have the advantage
of conviction

my ego fades
i lose my self
to become part
of eternity

I lie in peace
   Safe in Mother's embrace
Deep is my repose
   Ensconed within oblivion

Delve not too deep
   within the dark recesses
     biding in my mind
You cannot escape untainted
   by the evil that lurks
     within my abyss
The darkest corners, shrouded
   occluded by oblivion
     slaver for release
If you free the maelstrom
   nothing is sacrosanct
     even my sanity

cherry blossoms
drift in the air
landing softly
god's tears

why doth the mind bequeath the soul
dreams which cannot be aquitted
what seems unattainable,
is the ultimate goal

the sounds that i hear
are primal screams
i dont know why they come
but here they are

my throat is raw
my emotions bared
my soul has been torn
my heart as well

i hope you are happy
hope you're satisfied
done what no other could
joshua to my jericho

your love was a trojan horse
hollow and meaningless
i am nothing more
than a casualty of war

i gave you all my trust
placed my heart in your hand
you only waited for a chance
to plunge in the knife

i hope you are happy
hope you're satisfied
done what no other could
joshua to my jericho

i lie here a hollow husk
devoid of emotion
trust and hope shattered
beyond all repair

what had been done
to make you so cold
take it out on one who loved
gave you all

i hope you are happy
hope you're satisfied
done what no other could
joshua to my jericho

show me how deep love can be
that feeling ive never known
the sharing of mind
the sharing of soul
the feelings that burn eternal
there we lie
entwined
swept up in the throes
of passion
our bodies shared
our souls comingled
the reticence of my past
burned away by the joy of now

we can na'er afford to speak
the thoughts we harbor within
for fear of their reception
thus they remain unspoken
substance forever ephemeral
a wisp of a thought of a dream

i would never try to cause you grief
but strive to protect you from harm
give you all that i have
to be embraced in your arms
that one moment of perfect bliss
calls me like a siren's song

i know not if my fantasy is truth
or the sundream of a stricken fool
still it has a grip upon my soul
tantalizingly out of reach and sight
hovering on the border of my perception
a dream from the mists of never to be

why do i torture myself with these things
these thoughts and these dreams
conjured from a realm of fantasy
returned to the ether delights unseen

waiting for the outcome
will my heart remain whole
or be broken again
what was once life and breath
is now ashes in my mouth
a veritable dream in sooth
shredded by imagined fears
all its beauty rendered moot

the truth doesnt always set you free;
sometimes it just shows you where the walls are.

the sweetest pain

Knowing that i had to let you go
so unlike the ones from my past
no illusion like Calypso's affection
but something i thought was real
seeking the reasons to hold you close
the magic words to slay uncertainty
unable to show you the way
or even shed light on the path
For even if your truth sunders
all that which we have wrought
my desire is you find what you seek
to see you slay this minotaur
even at the cost of myself
And after assemble the pieces
rebuild them to a semblance of order
praying they will fit back together
wishing they resemble the past
But knowing they show the truth
they mirror the truth of your need
i will find a way to accept
and live within the new reality
And always will i be there
to lend a hand or an ear
for always remember
that i love you.